tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
