sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
