When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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