Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
