Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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