I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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