Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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