So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
