You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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