I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
