He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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