I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
