i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
