i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
