My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
