the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
