So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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