so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
