oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize