Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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