8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
