But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
