He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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