We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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