I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
