...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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