I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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