The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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