Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize