This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
