I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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