Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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