I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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