david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
