you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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