He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize