I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
