I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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