We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
