I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
