i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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