that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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