I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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