when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
