Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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