I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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