So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
