so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
