Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
