Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
