it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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