I look better un-naked...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
