I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
