He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
