found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
