bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
