brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its not stalking. its research.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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