I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
