this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Is that strawberry winking at me??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
