what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
