...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She even gives head with a lisp.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
