Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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