You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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