I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Randomize
