Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
