We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
