gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
