My room smells like vodka and shame
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
